Dear Tractivists,
Being an ally — someone who stands up for people experiencing oppression — is a journey, except that there’s really no end. Like loving and learning, it is something we keep doing all our lives. I have heard people cite the “platinum rule” as part of being a good ally — “do unto others as they would have done unto them.” But that is the tricky part, figuring out how others want to be treated. What does it mean to respect someone based on their definition of respect, not your own?
Well, we’re not mind readers, of course, and no one expects us to be. An important part of being a good ally is learning, listening, and asking when we don’t know the answer. With that comes the challenge of forgiving ourselves for not being perfect, for not knowing the right term or how to react to a racist joke.
I can remember causing a unified gasp (as a white person in a majority Black group) in my sophomore year Black History class when I recited a quote from the day’s reading that included the n-word. I went back and forth between feeling upset at the class for scolding me and upset with myself for being so out of touch. Ultimately, I had to let go — of my ego, my self-doubt, and my aching desire to seem cool. Reading helped a lot — Peggy McIntosh’s “Unpacking the White Knapsack” blew my mind — and so did finding safer spaces to talk about privilege and the pain and anger that goes with it, to learn about people different from me, and to find my voice as an ally.
On Thursday, November 12th, from 6-8pm, Traction is creating one of those spaces, where you can explore how to respond to all kinds of oppression.
WHAT: How to be a Good Ally: a workshop
WHEN: Thurs., Nov. 12, 6:00-8:00 PM
WHERE: downtown Durham
RSVP: ally@getTraction.org
I always feel lucky to find opportunities, like Traction’s workshop, that help me grow as an ally, that let me feel safe to ask questions that might be offensive or to talk about feelings that I might be ashamed of. We don’t have to go from oblivious to activist overnight, we just have to keep moving forward.
I hope you’ll join Traction in taking another step and spend some time in a supportive and challenging space. RSVP to ally@getTraction.org for directions.
Celeste
ally in-the-making, food blogger, Tractivist
P.S. Looking for company over Thanksgiving? Traction will connect you up with other Tractivists to share the holiday! Write to thanks@getTraction.org to sign up as a guest or a host.
P.P.S. Save the date! A Festivus for the Left of Us, Traction’s holiday bash, is coming up on December 12! There are many ways to help get the party rolling; write to festivus@getTraction.orgto volunteer.